Today is August 29th. I hate the month of August. More bad than good comes out of this month for me. 10 days ago was the funeral... 3 years ago. 16 days ago was the day he passed away....3 years ago. And today. Today I am grieving. I guess for me, I let things build up before I decide to not hold on anymore and it comes out like a tidal wave.
And today. Today I am wishing. To sign onto AIM and see his sn IM me. To receive a comment on my LJ saying, "I miss you bunches." To go eat at the pizza place next to rite aide. To sit out in my front yard.. like we did every night.. and talk, play thumb war, and joke around.
And I wish I could go back in time. Re-say words. Save our conversations.... just so that I can read them now and pretend we are talking now. That you are here now.
It's been 3 whole years... and I wonder what it would have been like if you were there.
If you were here.
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