Lose me

I hate saying good-bye. I immediately get upset when I know the time is near. It didn't help that his night was not what he wanted and small comments that were made didn't lift the tension. Even recently, where our days have been making up for what's been trying to be taken away. But I know this. We are molded too good to collapse. I'm not really sure if anyone takes our relationship as serious as we do. Maybe they see us moving too fast. I know many people aren't ready for that when they enter a relationship so they can't see how, or why, we would be so close. Honestly blogger, it's because I feel so connected to him. When he's not around I feel so alone. Like today in math class, my teacher made me switch to another group. (not sure why) It was so awkward sitting there while they're three steps ahead, impatiently waiting for me to catch up. I felt like I was back at Urban Outfitters and my card got declined. Ah I could hear her tapping my card against the desk, again. I felt embarrassed and unwanted. The whole time I wished he could be there so that I could feel his peace and comfort, telling me it's okay, I'll get it. It's almost crazy how well our minds can read each other but I am happy with him. I truly am. I've never felt so alive, but when I don't hear from him, or get the chance to see him…. I've never felt so dead. I hate saying good-bye.